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| ah omg i had wierd dreams last night.
first, i was trying to show my sister a game and we went to this large room. i don't remember much else.
and then...
i was dreaming that i was seeing mark at church after a long while of break again. i was incredibly happy. excep, when we went into church, it was just a room with steps and no chairs. it was like, one of those college classrooms that go down or whatever, except without seats. and so me and mark were hanging out and some little kid was bothering me from behind and i was hella irritated so i turned my back to them and started talking with mark. we were sitting on teh ground. and then service started so we tried finding seats but there weren't any so we had to sit seperated and Relient K was playing at church. hahaha like wtf? anyways, so then after a while, people started getting up and leaving and i couldn't find mark anywhere and i got really upset.
this lead into another dream...
i don't know who, but this girl was sleeping and dreaming and i was in her dreams. she was dreaming she was going to her bathroom and the power was out so she had a flashlight and she saw a doll in her bathtub. suddenly, she was in a large cardboard box sitting. she freaked out and searched around with her flashlight. the doll was sitting directly across from her. suddenly, it's head like, squashed from the sides. like someone put their hands on it's head and squeezed it until it wouldn't go back to normal adn it's head was squished that way forever. after that, a foot appeared to be stepping on a small cardboard box and i heard screaming and then i saw the girl wake up from her dream. the power was out. she was afraid to get up, but she did. she opened the blinds. it was morning. she got dressed and went to a good friend of her's house. her friend's house was the place from my first dream. the large room i was in with my sister.it was empty and confidential. a small irish man was also there telling her friend about his dream. his dream was a happier version of hers. she thought that was incredibly strange. but anyways, when she told her friend her dream, he didn't say anything. the next thing i remember is that the girl saw the doll in the room somewhere and started to freak out. it's head squished in and suddenly her head did the same and her friend and the irish man freaked out and she was crying blood and coughing up blood and blood was coming out of her ears. it was horrible.
that's all of my dream. it was horrible. >_<
[kbyee.<33]
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| going to lincoln was so much more different that i thought.....
i learned something about myself.
and about stuart lee.
strange to be there and happy and exciting and everything and nothing imaginable.
when i saw stuart, he gave me a hug like...way different than his..old hugs. i was surprised and thats when i realized it. i noticed just how much stuart has changed. the old stuart...was different, a lot more of a dork, and a lot less shallow. i can see now that it was not meant more me to stay with him and i am glad i got over it, though it took so long. i took out my pain on...myself. i didn't want him to break up with me at the time, and now that i could care less about him, he comes around saying he'll call me, talk to me on myspace, see you around, kelly lingo. and this is where i get the shallow from. never before would he have said those words to me until i did everything i did to myself. i changed myself these past eight months. i have changed so much and going to lincoln today made me see all the changes in the school and the people. alyssa was, happy? trenton and sarah, omigod they were happy. sherry was surprised haha. gill vidales was cool, as usual. :] stuart was extremely surprised, i could tell. at how pretty i got, too, i know it. i got rid of my glasses and that's why he is willing to speak to me again. because i turned...pretty.
though my personal feelings resent that. i do not believe this, but i can see it in other people's htoughts.
i can see it in their faces.
stuart, you retard, you are the easiest face i've ever read and you let yourself go. you let yourself and your brain open up so that i could see your thoughts and emotions.
i realized myself. why i hurt myself at lodi high school.
i was mending my pain of stuart breaking up with me by getting boyfirends, adn so many of them, for the wrong reasons at lodi high. and they all hurt me even more.
and i just realized this today.
and i am so much more happy to have mark. :]
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| in about fifteen minutes or so i am going to start getting ready so that i can go to my old school. ill be leaving teh house at 11:00 and i will be back around 12:15 or so. their lunch ends about 12:05 so yeah. ill be visiting and picking up registration forms for the following year. ah, okay i think i should be getting ready to ge into the shower now.
i miss markk yes i do. i want to see his face so very badly. poop i wanna see him.
im excited for thursday. <33
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| at one c'clock, i am going to um...ice skating! with Jordan, my newfound cousin, Courtney, [these two girls i met at this group thingy i just simply call "Group"] and also my sister might be coming and i have invited Gill Vidales to come alot as well. :]
i am excited to see people outside of school/Group, you know? i don't be able to ever, i feel as though i live in a BOX. yes, this is because i am not aloud on the internet unless it is for schoolwork, there is no cable television, just regular, unpaid-for, antenna thingy, three-channel television. also, i dont exactly go out, due to grades, i'd say. i come straight home after school, no stops, no park, no swing, no apple market, just walk home. then, i do whatever, hw, whatever there IS to do, then i sleep, i wake up, go to school, come home, same old routine every...single day.
i am the most boring person you'd meet, probably.
but, i have a boyfriend who does not seem to think so. :]]
my boyfran is mark siebert, whom i am very fond with. :D
mark's personality makes me smile, as well as his adorable shyness, cute jokes that get mixed up sometimes and make no sense, but i still smile all the while. Also, his interests are rather interesting, hahaha. he writes the cutest letters i have ever read from anyone tht has ever written me a letter. he is good with guitar, llike dead seriously, to the max fer suree. he looks absolutely splendid in PICTURESS, unlike I, who is completely un-photogenic. his myspace is SUPER cutie, and i like him so much. like...
[>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>] that much. ^^^^^
fer realll. <33
kbyeee.<33
<33
<3
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| everytime i come to my mom's, i dream.
and i don't simply dream these dreams, they are usually really wierd and long.
: /
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